Walk a little straighter

You keep tripping and stumbling as you take another sip. I just want you to look down here and see that I'm here. Walk a little straighter daddy; you're leading me. I just wish things could be better than okay. I wish I could come home and not see my dad slurring his words and flipping me off. I wish my dad could provide for me, my mom, and siblings. I wish my parents would get a divorce because I'm tired of the same old thing and I'm sick of seeing my family getting torn apart right before my eyes. My siblings are too young for this. I wish I didn't hate my dad for treating me like this for 16 years. I need to stop wishing though because I know things will never change. It sucks when you've been failed so many times so you no longer have the ability to trust anyone or anything. Its sad when you think that you have no ability to trust because of your dad. I can no longer let my guard down towards my dad or anyone else and it is sad. I don't know how I feel towards him. I call him tim and that's also sad. I don't want to hate him but I don't want to love him either because of the way he's hurt me. Boggle brained, I'm scared and confused.