Walk a little straighter

You keep tripping and stumbling as you take another sip. I just want you to look down here and see that I'm here. Walk a little straighter daddy; you're leading me. I just wish things could be better than okay. I wish I could come home and not see my dad slurring his words and flipping me off. I wish my dad could provide for me, my mom, and siblings. I wish my parents would get a divorce because I'm tired of the same old thing and I'm sick of seeing my family getting torn apart right before my eyes. My siblings are too young for this. I wish I didn't hate my dad for treating me like this for 16 years. I need to stop wishing though because I know things will never change. It sucks when you've been failed so many times so you no longer have the ability to trust anyone or anything. Its sad when you think that you have no ability to trust because of your dad. I can no longer let my guard down towards my dad or anyone else and it is sad. I don't know how I feel towards him. I call him tim and that's also sad. I don't want to hate him but I don't want to love him either because of the way he's hurt me. Boggle brained, I'm scared and confused.

you'll always be in my heart.

All things happen for a reason. Good things and bad. Some things aren't meant to be but don't look back at the past because your eyes are in the front for a reason, you aren't suppose to look back. Just know one thing is for sure; I will always miss you grandpa. He is my hero and my number one fan. No one can take him away from me. Even though he isn't here, I can still feel him. Love is like the wind, you can't see it, but you can feel it. Maybe it was meant to be but it sucks. I know he's in a better place now and he's happier. I just wish I could be there with him. We had such good times and he always made me laugh. He made me cry from laughing so hard. He is a man that is never to be forgotten. He shall be loved forever. I know that he is looking down on me today and smiling because I'm writing this and he feels loved. No wondering its smiling today. He always called me his "little poop!" Sometimes I think, it's kind of a good thing that he passed because I don't like to see him suffer but then I take it back because I love him dearly. Always and forever grandpa.

Happiness is Key.

Everyone deserves to be happy and just a little bit of respect. You deserve to be happy wether your black or white, bi or gay. A lot people don't believe in the same sex being together because it goes against their religion I believe that if your happy, it really doesn't matter and it especially doesn't matter what people think of you. It doesn't matter because if you are happy and you are being you then that is all that matters. You shouldn't have to change the way you feel for anyone or anything. It doesn't matter about all the weird looks or comments you get because first of all, they should be minding their own business and second of all, you shouldn't care because if you truly love the person your with, you'd tell them to mind their own business and still be happy with your partner. Me on the other hand, I couldn't like the same sex because I care too much what people think and I couldn't help but thinking everyday "what do people really think of me? Or what are people really saying behind my back?"

Life Is Precious

It only takes one little thing to happen to create a precious baby. Some people plan it and everything goes perfectly. They are happy and filled with joy. They are scared because they think it is going to hurt but the best part is seeing your baby's beautiful face for the first time and tears roll down your face because it's weird knowing that you made such a wonderful, precious thing. Some people on the other hand are freaked out when the first find out that they are pregnant because it was unplanned and they do not know what to do or how to go about the situation. When this happens, most people think it's okay to even consider abortion because the baby isn't born, but that's not true at all. I believe that when the baby is first conceived is when the baby becomes apart of you and your family. If you kill that baby or fetus; whatever you refer to it as, you are killing a live person. It may be legal now but it is wrong. People have different opinions about it but if you ever get pregnant and it's unplanned maybe you should widen your options and think about adoption. There are people out there that can't have children and because you are going to be shelfish and kill your child just because you weren't ready, doesn't mean someone else isn't. People who abort I think are stupid because they will never get the amazing opportunity to see what it's like to take care of a child and have that bond. Don't be stupid and kill someone. Save a child's life and while your at it, save someone else's too by giving it away if it's THAT BIG OF A DEAL!

Reflection: I think writing this post was very easy for me because abortion is something that I strongly disagree in. I think that people are super stupid if they do that because you are killing a innocent baby. Some parts were difficult like getting it to flow and making sure it made sense because I wanted to get my point across. I think that blogging is the easiest for me than story-telling or anything other option because I can just right what I feel and with story-telling, there are rules kind of.

Life interrupted

I fall, start convulsing and then turn blue in the face. You never know what to think when your life flashes right before your eyes then all of a sudden your foaming at the mouth. Questions are left unanswered. I ponder the thoughts like "What would my life be like if I was normal" Would I be smarter? Would people  not think I was weird? I do not regret the things that have happened to me because I do believe that everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wonder if everything happens for a reason, then why does it have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? In the same boat, why not me? What makes me believe that I can not achieve everything in life with seizures than I could without?
This blog was very easy for me because it was a personal experience. I also love writing and once I get writing, I can go. It just takes me awhile to start and come up with ideas. I love blogging the most because I can just sit down and say what I want and write about whatever.